Fourteenth Dispatch - [written]

[captainhornblower]

[He's been here a year now.

An entire year.

And it doesn't feel any more like home than it did the day he arrived. If anything, his obligations feel even sharper than they did then. Because he has been away from them. Even if no one would know he'd been gone, he knew.]

Person or thing, either way--

What would you most like to see here?

Hornblower

Comments

[ written ]

[herotypical]

I guess your reason's better than -- oh, I don't know -- having an affair with a secretary and running when wife and kids need you most.

[ written ]

[captainhornblower]

I want this world to be better for them.

[ written ]

[herotypical]

...It's a pretty brave way of thinking.

[ written ]

[captainhornblower]

Or a good sounding excuse.

[Because he's poor at taking a compliment. Plus, he's not sure even he believes what he said.]

[ written ]

[herotypical]

Hold onto that guilt. If you're away from your family and not feeling it? Then you have a problem.

[ daddy issues. she has one or two. ]

[ written ]

[captainhornblower]

[Guilt. He had plenty of guilt.

Yet, he knew he would far prefer to be at sea than on land.

Part of him hoped for a son who could follow him to sea, but he would not make Maria endure that worry. Perhaps his son would follow his father's profession...]

I regret every moment I spend away from my Maria, and I will feel the separation all the more keenly when there is a child.

But I have duty to my king and country.

[ written ]

[herotypical]

Duty. Yep. I'm familiar with that one. Doesn't leave a lot of room for family-building.

[ written ]

[captainhornblower]

It doesn't.

[A more honest man would have told Maria that, would have been unable to make her endure marriage to a husband rarely present.

But he had been unable to break her heart, and his vows bound him now, tried constantly to war with his duty.]

And yet, we have little else, so we must take pride in our duty.

[ written ]

[herotypical]

Does it...help? Knowing you've picked it? Chosen it?

[ written ]

[captainhornblower]

[It takes a long time to answer.]

Sometimes.

[ written ]

[herotypical]

And other times?

[ written ]

[captainhornblower]

I made my choice at seventeen. Twenty years service before I can change my mind, and it gets in the blood, in a way. I don't think it will be a choice when the time comes to decide whether I retire or continue.

There is nothing else I can think to do.

[ written ]

[herotypical]

[ again, she knows the feeling. ]

I'm guessing plenty don't retire?

[ written ]

[captainhornblower]

Most don't live long enough.

Those who do either have the connections for a good commission or can't afford to retire.

[ written ]

[herotypical]

...Guess that takes a lot of the romance out of it.

[ written ]

[captainhornblower]

It is a lot more romantic when you're just reading about it.

[ written ]

[herotypical]

Not to mention the silver screen.

[ written ]

[captainhornblower]

The what, Miss Buffy?

[ written ]

[herotypical]

Movies, Captain Horatio. Modern things.

[ written ]

[captainhornblower]

Ah, yes. Certainly.

[Still has no idea what she's talking about, really, but it's probably best not to ask. He's learned that much.]

[ written ]

[herotypical]

We like to do movie nights at 7. You should join us, sometime.

[ written ]

[captainhornblower]

Of course, Miss Buffy. I shall have to do that some time.

[ written ]

[herotypical]

...With snacks, too.

[ written ]

[captainhornblower]

I'd like that.

[Or at least he'll say that. he's really not sure what to make of it all.]