[luceti] - Appointments

[captainhornblower]

Messages and meetings for Cpt. Horatio Hornblower.


(Please title and date as appropriate.)

Comments

[captainhornblower]

"Styles."

[simplestgift]

"...Horatio, I could believe Styles guilty of negligence. Don't blame yourself."

Although he knew Horatio would anyway.

[captainhornblower]

Horatio sighed. "I count myself fortunate he did not blame me. He's... he's a good man, Archie. A lesser man... would have joined the man who did do it."

[simplestgift]

"The one who made everyone believe Styles was incompetent? Unlikely, Horatio. I don't think anyone would believe you did it out of spite or malice. This was when Styles had already proved a terrible steward, I take it?"

[captainhornblower]

"It wasn't against Styles. He... was trying to delay us. Or trying to sink the ship." He swallowed hard, this time in anger, one hand curling slightly into the beginnings of a fist. "A United Irishman, working for Bonaparte."

[simplestgift]

Archie sipped his tea. "To what end? Besides the obvious, of course, but how did setting the Hotspur afire accomplish Irish freedom?"

[captainhornblower]

"We were supposed to make a rendezvous with another ship, get and pass information. It was to delay or prevent that."

[simplestgift]

"I see." Archie sipped his tea again, feeling it settle a little better in his stomach than it would have a few minutes ago. "Men do mad things when they want something very badly."

[captainhornblower]

Horatio smiled ever so faintly. "I suppose I know a thing or two about that kind of madness." His eyes settled on Archie, ever affectionate. "Thank God, I have usually had a friend by my side to make it seem less mad, if only by virtue of being shared."

[simplestgift]

Archie felt so very strange, talking about this sort of thing. He remembered how very hellish life was immediately after Ferrol, returning to the navy and being expected to function as a normal midshipman. Would he fare very much better now, if he were miraculously called back to Earth alive?

Horatio carried him through then. But back then, Horatio wasn't already carrying an entire ship.

At last, he turned his palm up, fingers curling against Horatio's.

[captainhornblower]

Perhaps Horatio could follow those thoughts. Or perhaps his were going in a similar tone, if not the same direction.

Either way, when he felt Archie's hand shift and take his, he gave a light, gentle squeeze. I won't survive without you.

He'd meant it. Of course he'd meant it. But it had also been meant as some sort of combination of guilt and motivation. He had been willing to try everything and anything to make Archie eat. Drink. Want to live. But now... Now he knew how true it was. He didn't need Archie to live... No. He went on with his life-- eating, (barely) sleeping... but he'd rarely felt alive.

And yet... If they had the chance to go back. Archie with him. ...He'd have to go, Horatio knew that. Duty and honour and patriotism and... And he was suited for nothing else. But to ask Archie to go back. To follow him back to what he'd escaped again, to what he could do without.

Horatio squeezed his friend's hand again, silently berating himself for being selfish. To drag Archie back to the Royal Navy... would be to take him from this place and confine him again. No. No, he couldn't do that.

[simplestgift]

Archie squeezed back and offered a wan smile. Fortunately, Horatio would never have to ask that of him. He would do it anyway.