captainhornblower | [luceti]

[.......]

You're not my captain, Horatio.

[she means he doesn't need to sacrifice himself for her, but there's a level of loss there that she can't help but bump up against]

And so I cannot give you orders.

[He could barely restrain himself from rolling his eyes. A sharp edge came to his voice as he looked over at her, trying to soften the words but not succeeding.]

That does not mean I need to be coddled.

[she's tired. Like him, she hasn't slept properly in days, and her patience stretches at his response, her smile fading into a thin line]

No. You can't.

And it means that I'm not going to pretend to be blind when you're being foolish.

I'm fine. I don't want to sleep, and I'm not hungry.

Leave me be, and I shall show you the same courtesy.

[The words were harder than he meant them, but the lack of sleep and worry was wearing on him.]

You might not want it, but you are not fine. You're exhausted. And you're starving yourself.

[it was the start of a train of thought that should have grown in volume, but she keeps it carefully controlled, as if the frustrated words might disturb Archie's sleep even through the drugs]

You're not fine. I'm not fine. None of us are fine.

You don't have to accept my help, or anyone else's, but at least don't lie about it.

I am not starving myself.

[He wouldn't argue with anything else. He couldn't.

But that.]

I've skipped a meal. Maybe two.

But I can assure you, I am nowhere near starving myself, and I would advise you not to say that again.

[It hit a nerve, one he shouldn't even let be exposed. One that shouldn't matter. But damn it!]

I've eaten. Perhaps not as much as you'd like me to have, but I have eaten.

I have never once asked for your concern. Do not act surprised when I do not appreciate it.

[she points a finger at Archie, though her eyes never leave Horatio's face.]

I care about him. And he cares about you. Which means what you do affects him.

Don't be surprised if that's a bit of a concern, whether you ask for it or not.

[Horatio opens his mouth to speak, but he stops himself.

How could he tell her? How could he say that the only reason he ate anything, tried to sleep... was the hope that Archie would wake up? That he'd spent months before only remembering to eat when an echo of his friend's voice chided him for forgetting. That nothing more mattered than being there when Archie woke up.

He couldn't.

So the sound came, soft, like the clearing of a throat.]

Ha--h'm.

I can promise you, Miss Jilly, that I eat enough to keep my strength up and sleep enough to keep my mind sharp. I will not be too remiss on either need.

[when he pulls himself up short, recovering from the brief lapse of control that lack of sleep and worry had caused them both, it allows her to do the same. She could match his fire...and she could mirror his restraint.

She can't read his mind and know his motivation, but she can trust him. Archie did, and that was enough for her. She would take him at his word.]

[she nods slowly, accepting]

Neither will I. [that was one place she wouldn't waiver. If they were to keep this vigil, it would be with equal shares]

[And if he wants her to take him at his words... damn it, he has to take her at his.

So he only nods.]

Then we have reached an understanding.

[hah. Triumph]

[it wasn't the exact result she wanted, but it's a start, and there's just enough pleasure in her smile to be noticed]

I guess we have, Mr. Hornblower.

[not that it would keep her from bringing him food]

[And it won't move him from his chair. Except to pace the room.

So he won't actually be lying down. ...Or too willing to take food.

But he'll stop arguing. Which is a start!]

[luceti] - Appointments

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