Seventh Dispatch - [voice]/[action]

[captainhornblower]

[Horatio Hornblower's voice is very calm, very quiet. It sounds... not even curious. He is almost stating a fact, rather than asking a question.]

Lieutenant Bush's things are gone.

Why? What is the meaning of this?

[His housemates... will find him in his own room now, seated at his desk, the journal lying open in front of him-- if they dare disturb.]

Comments

[simplestgift]

None that I've heard of. Buffy said she walked out of a room for half an hour, and when she came back, her friend was gone. Some people write letters, in case it happens. I got one from a friend, not too long ago.

[He stops, and cannot continue this babble. It's finally hit home for Horatio, and that's a scary thing, scary because he knows the panic that comes with it himself. Wondering if it would be this heartbeat or the next, just like on his deathbed.]

[captainhornblower]

Letters.

[The word catches his ear more than anything else, because it is the only word he can bear to think on. His laugh is somewhat weak, somewhat unsteady, but it is not wholly divorced from himself, not any kind of break toward madness.]

Letters...

Indeed.

[simplestgift]

Horatio. [Yes, he has written you a letter. He writes updated ones, too. You'll never find where it's hidden, hopefully, not until you're meant to.]

[captainhornblower]

[He shakes his head slightly.]

It seems appropriate.

[And a habit he might take up out of comfort. It helped once, to some degree at least.]

[simplestgift]

[A beat.] Back home. You knew anyone you knew could die at any moment. You didn't spend all your time thinking on it then, did you?

[captainhornblower]

[A pause.]

No.

But I-- [He catches himself. Archie has said it before. He sees himself as his lieutenant. And a lieutenant needs a captain on whom he can rely, a man who can hold himself tall, who can command. Not one who worries and doubts.]

No. You're quite right, Archie.

[simplestgift]

[Horatio gets the most unconvinced look in the universe. But it's also a worried look. He's also Horatio's best friend, not only his lieutenant.]

You don't have to believe me now. But it's not much different. Right now, we're both here. That's all that matters. Otherwise we'll drive ourselves mad.

[captainhornblower]

[Horatio nods, his shoulders dipping for a moment, the weight of his thoughts pulling them down.

I've walked that line before.

But he forces himself to shrug and sit up straighter before he looks at Archie again.]

I-- I'm sorry, Archie. Carrying on this way.

[simplestgift]

[He just keeps watching, as if he doesn't know why Horatio is apologizing. After a moment, he gives a tight pseudo-smile.]

It's just us, Horatio.

[captainhornblower]

[There are so many things to say, all of them on the tip of his tongue yet held back by years of being the solitary captain. He had not confided in William Bush as he had Archie Kennedy.

He had learned to smother strong indications of emotion, to check himself at every sentence. While sometimes talk with Archie flowed as easily as if they'd never parted, sometimes he felt the years that had by.

Finally, he managed something close to a smile and nodded.]

It is.

[simplestgift]

[Sometimes Archie forgets that, to Horatio, they were separated much longer than four months. Four impossibly long months, during which Archie had despaired of seeing his friend again. Now that Horatio is here, the days have flown by. Had the years crawled back home when Horatio was alone?]

He might come back. Jack went home for a week, remember.

[captainhornblower]

[Horatio nods slowly.]

And... he is home. That is a comfort.

[A small comfort, as he'd rather William with him, but at least the man was in one place that he belonged, and Horatio could assure himself that being back in the British Navy was better than having to know that his friend was dead.

He'd survived that once. Doing so again would not be as easy.

Though, either way... At least he had someone. Someone who would tolerate his moods, be firm when necessary but gentle when permissible. He was not alone, as he had been on Retribution. He had Archie.

Even that made it easier to bear.]

[simplestgift]

He's home on the Hotspur. And we with one less hand to build our sloop.

[He's trying to make light of it, and direct Horatio's thoughts forward. He'll miss William's simple wisdom and easy companionship. Having him here made this place feel a little more like home.

At least he'd been able to see him again, and know they could have been real friends.]

[captainhornblower]

Hotspur, yes...

[Horatio shakes off the thought before it can take too strong a hold. Even back home, he's had to part ways with William. It will be a long time (made longer by Luceti, but at least here he has Archie to make the time feel short) because he sees William Bush again.

But he thinks of the rest of Archie's statement and manages a smile, however faint, however unsteady.]

And that is a shame, certainly. But I do think we can manage.

[simplestgift]

And what shall we name her? The Maria Hornblower?

[Horatio hardly ever speaks of his wife, and Archie has often suspected something is wrong. This might let loose a clue.]

[captainhornblower]

[Horatio sighed.]

I'm not sure that's an apt name for a vessel of war.

[Guns or not, there would be gun ports. She would be able, if guns ever appeared, to carry them.]

[simplestgift]

Perhaps she'll have to tell us her name herself, then.

[That was the sort of thing Jack would say, wasn't it?]

[captainhornblower]

I think we'll find the right name, yes.

[He smiled just faintly and looked at Archie.]

Something fit for a proper voyage, fit for battle...

[simplestgift]

[Like the Lieutenant Bush. Except that would be rather awkward if the real Lt. Bush ever came back.]

Like the Indefatigable. But I'll try drawing a few plans for her. She might not end up much, but she'll be ours, and bigger than anything else that sails these waters.

[captainhornblower]

God, the Indy.

[Horatio couldn't help but grin at the thought.]

I loved Hotspur... She was mine. First proper command. [Retribution, he didn't count.] But she could never be the Indy.

She'll always be home.

[It's a warm, affectionate tone, far, far fonder than he's spoken about his wife... Or much else.]

[simplestgift]

She will be. Always. [There's a long pause. This is a moment that calls for...] Brandy or whiskey, Mr. Hornblower?

[captainhornblower]

[A thought, and he gets up to accompany Archie.]

One glass of brandy.

[simplestgift]

That seems appropriate. [Heading to the kitchen now.] To celebrate the time we had with him. [The chance, in a way, to say a second goodbye and end on a better note.]

[captainhornblower]

[He followed, smiling slightly. Then, quietly.] What would I do without you?

[simplestgift]

Quite likely fall over and die, Mister Hornblower. [he didn't miss a beat. He grabs two snifters and starts filling them with the last contents of a bottle he'd opened with William not too long ago. A powerful wave of sadness washes over him as it empties.

He's really gone.

A moment later, he sets the bottle down and forces a smile at Horatio.]